Okay, so I’ve finally returned “home” and am working in the field again. Yesterday I spent the day with one district while they went house to house vaccinating. If feels like forever since I’ve done that… all went smoothly… they had 87 defaulters to vaccinate and got 57. Pretty good. It was good to be back in the field… even if the patrol had to be pushed down the road to get it started a few times… the fun of being in the field. There was one family we visited that reminded me why I’m doing what I’m doing… the family consisted of the 2 parents and the 7 children. Their home? A crumbling 8 foot long wall marked one side of the house… tarps hanging down the other three sides completed the house. The inside space of maybe 8×12 feet had two twin sized platforms in the middle, a shelf built along one of the tarp walls and an old counter, with cabinets, on the other side. A baby basket was swinging from the corrugated tin roof in the middle of the home, inside was the youngest – no bottoms since he’d been suffering from diarrhea for 2 days. The other children ran about… dad was chopping up small chunks of wood, mom was taking clothes down from drying… the thing that stuck out to me about this family was how clean they were. And all the children were dressed in clean clothes… maybe it was laundry/washing day, I’m not sure… the oldest child, a girl of 13ish, even had in cute earrings. Most kids I encounter are dirty and often only wear shirts, or maybe just pants, but hardly both. They were a kind family, thanked the nurses several times for coming by. I rarely hear that now that I think about it. I’ve encountered many families since working here, but this once stuck out to me… their small home tucked back into the field off a main road, along a creek/barangay boundary… I can’t even imagine what their life is like. I feel as though my little hotel room is small and it is just me and a few geckos living in here… but them? I have two twin beds; they just have the platforms, no mattresses. I don’t know what in life took them along this path…brought them to this place in life. It still makes me sad to think of them… but they smiled, the children laughed, they were grateful for vaccines for their babies… the human spirit never ceases to amaze me.

Yesterday I also watched a little girl carry a duckling around with her. She obviously loved this little creature… even though it was as dirty as she was. It was hard sight to watch… a half naked, dirty child carrying a muddy duckling around by its neck. When she would drop it, it would gasp for air and try to waddle away. But her dirty little hands would snatch it back up again. At one point, I saw this child carrying a cage, but the duckling only had a short respite, for the child grabbed it by the neck and pulled it out… duckling in one hand, empty cage in the other. But when this child was being vaccinated, she wanted to hold onto her duckling for comfort… mom just threw the duckling down on the ground, near my feet. I watched its little body struggle for life while its child owner cried from a vaccination… and my feet were intensely itching from being bitten by ants or mites or something else mean… yes, just another day in the field.

Today I accompanied another district in the field. This was a new barangay for me, just down the road from where I live, so that was nice. The councilors were the volunteers… good timing to go house to house since elections are coming up in October… survey for children under 5 and campaign. Perfect. The folks were super nice and fed us well… kind of funny I had sweet and sour tilapia at 10am, but it was delicious – masarap! And it was strange that a funeral procession started at the house next to the brgy hall while we were meeting… again, just another typical day in the field.

I was sent home with two small bags of a rice desert. I shared this with the hotel staff… we stood around eating this while they taught me new words/phrases in Tagalog. I’m really grateful for the staff here. It is kind of tough being here on my own, so it is nice having them… I enjoy talking with them and laughing because there is always a lot of laughing in the Philippines. Yesterday I came home to a planggana waiting for me outside my door. Loy knew that I wanted one to wash my clothes in because my sink is so small. He bought one at some market because the prices at the stores where I looked were way too much… so now I have a planggana to wash my clothes in… which I should do now.  I think I will hug my washer and dryer when I return home to my casita. What a luxury.

Hi! So I know it has been awhile since I’ve updated this blog. Yeah, I’ve been a horrible blogger. Briefly… the last few weeks have been a blur. First, Lauren and I were trying to wrap up this assignment, I then found out I’m staying, we had presentations and a big fat report to write… then we went to Bohol/Panglao for a few days… then Lauren left and I was sad. It felt weird to be alone in the country… and I ran around Manila a few days taking care of odds and ends… then I came back “home” to meet with the districts before a friend from the States came to visit for a week. We then spent a week in Palawan… Amazing! I’ll update these experiences soon… hopefully I will resume my normal routine this week… I’m back home and glad to be in my “room” and surrounded by the friendly faces I’ve come to think of as my “little family” here… and then the nurses/midwives, I look forward to seeing several of them this week… as it should be a busy week as we have lots of kids to vaccinate. I feel recharged from a holiday… and blessed. The places I saw in the past few weeks… I’m blessed. I’m also blessed to have been sent here… so more soon. But now I must “take a rest”… yet another reason I love the Philippines.

We have spent all weekend on our presentations for tomorrow. It will be such a relief to have them over with tomorrow! I think Loy will even be happy… he’s looking forward to drinking gin tomorrow. I think we are, too. And we plan to pick up a cake for the staff after our day of presentations. We did take a break to run to the mall to search for a shirt for Lauren. We so aren’t Filipina size! But we found her a shirt and me new sunglasses. My beloved orange aviators broke recently. So sad. But they might be fixable… so I’m not crying yet. We also tried on shoes… haha! I was told when mine were too small, “No more big sizes.” Haha! But we have noticed that for being such small people, Filipinos have some big feet. Random, I know…

So, we went to Edna’s Cakeland to pick up our order for the nurses/midwives tomorrow. They provided us with snacks for the past 2 months, so we decided to bring snacks for them during the presentation tomorrow. We also picked up some drinks, think Capri-Sun style drinks in the pouches. So we loaded down a tricycle with 3 bags (7 boxes) of drinks and 2 bags (6 boxes) of cake snacks… pretty funny.  I think we’ll cart them to the city health office tomorrow in my duffel bag. Lauren and I are funny… oh, yeah we are. I’m sure the nurses will laugh at us. But we wanted to do something for them… fancy little cake snacks. Then in the afternoon we have a presentation for the 89 barangay captains. Oh, goodness. This will be an interesting audience. The captains we have worked with have been nice, but they are definitely different than the nurses… when we thought of what to take for the captains, we laughed at the fleeting thought of cases of Red Horse, cartons of cigarettes and bottles of Tanduay. So the different snack ideas should show the difference between these two audiences. It will all be fine… ugh, but presenting. Ugh. I already feel nauseous.

Winnie is totally teaching me new words everyday… I wish we would have started 2 months ago! Today I learned, “I don’t know” and “my stomach hurts” – both of which will come in handy for me. Tagalog… it is a funny language and we’ve talked how we feel it represents the people and culture well… one person described it to me before I left the States as “Tagalog! It is the most fucked up language ever to exist!” Now that was a little harsh… but to each his own. It is quite the mix of languages… but after getting to know the country a little better, I can see where it comes from. Regardless, I’m glad Winnie is teaching me new words… I’m a dork and was excited when I heard “rain” mentioned a few different conversations and knew at least the topic!

Oh! And yesterday Lauren and I walked to several of the neighborhood sari-saris asking for Fudgee Bars… we greeted store owners and asked for Fudgee Bars in Tagalog. We figured we spoke somewhat correctly when they answered in Tagalog… then we were stumped because we didn’t always understand the response! Or know what to say next! After about 5 sari-saris we found Fudgee Bars, but not in the flavor we wanted, which is either buko or macadamia nut. We forget the flavor, but we know it is the green package. So we settled on Vanilla Jolt – pretty much like a Twinkie back home.

Oh, time to meet again about these presentations… ugh. And there goes my stomach again… masakit ang tiyan. Meron timba?

I’m not sure how it happened, but I’m staying here! I’m excited and a bit nervous. I’m excited to see this project to finish. I’m nervous since Lauren will be returning home and I’ll be on my own. However, the nurses have said they will take care of me… I’ve already been invited to join them on a vacation in December. And Ate Nel’s daughter is moving, so I can spend time with her “so we both aren’t alone.” And the staff at the hotel seem happy that I’ll be staying. Winnie is now teaching me a word a day – lamok bite makes me makati. Makati City – Itchy City? Ewww. Winnie also let me check out other rooms so I could find one that is best for me. I’ll be taken care of while here… they’ll watch out for me and make sure I’m okay. However, they seemed concerned that I don’t have a boyfriend and want to find me one… oh, boy. I love that the name of some guy was mentioned and Gladys replied, “No, I don’t like him for Miss Jenn. She needs better.” I’m going to be just fine… but I will so miss Lauren! We’ve been attached at the hip for nearly 3 months… last night at dinner we were both a bit sad it was her last Friday night dinner in Cabanatuan. So those of you who still read this… emails, please! I also love texts, which is the same cost as sending them to me while I’m in the US since it is my US number – just costs me to respond. And care packages are always appreciated. Yup. I’m going to spend my birthday and Thanksgiving here… that might be a bit strange, but then again… nothing can be as horrible as Christmas 2007, so I’m going to be better than fine. J

Life really has a funny way of working out… when I left home I had no clue when I would return. I knew the earliest would be September, but wasn’t so sure I’d be able to stay longer. And the timing of all this? To have a friend who needed a place to rent and was willing to care for my Ruby while gone? And to have a job that I could leave for 3 months – granted I did resign from Marble once I found out I’m staying. I just didn’t feel right asking folks to cover my shifts for another 4 months. It was a little sad to throw in my bar towel.  So for the first time in over 2 years, I only have one job. And I love this job. Oh, and the other funny thing… to be sent to a place with someone I had already lived and worked with? And now feel comfortable in this city and culture? I mean, Loy even took us to get our pants taken in (and shortened for me) last week… when I start having clothes tailored, I know I’m feeling like this is really home. So I’m staying… I was looking forward to going home, I had already started to mentally prepare for that and was so excited to see Ruby, so it was difficult for a few days while I switched gears again.

Well, I just received a text telling me that there will be another STOPer coming. Oh, boy… I’m nervous about that. I just hope we will get along well… it is going to be damn freakin’ hard to beat Lauren as my sidekick. Lauren, if you ever read this – I totally appreciated you on many levels during this assignment. Salamat, po! But I think you already know this. Now I’m freaking out about this other person… sheesh. Well, for one they are going to have it easy! None of this trying to figure life out here… they can just tag along with me. Why am I feeling like it is right before the start of Freshman year of college when I’m about to learn who my roommate in the dorms is? That one worked out beautifully, not only did I gain one great friend, but I also gained her younger sister (love you both Kat and Val!) as a good friend. And then I was paired up with Lauren… now who? I’m going to think positively… I’ll laugh if it is another former Yalie…

So we spent this morning with Loy… we went to the museum that honors his father, Lazero Francisco. It was good to see this part of Loy’s life. I feel blessed to have met Loy – a generous soul. We saw the typewriter he father used, some of the original typed books, lots of pictures, medals, newspaper clippings, stamps (his father was celebrated on a postage stamp), articles of clothing and accessories… yes, Loy’s father is a well known Filipino writer, but it was special to be able have Loy share this part of his life with us. You know… one of those memories that will always remain and make me smile throughout my life. Loy is just one of the coolest people… and I have to smile when I think about what I said that first night we saw him, “I’m going to be friends with that crazy old man” as he laughed by himself at the TV. Yup, Loy is super cool. And to walk around town with him is funny… I asked him what people thought when they see us with him, if they thought it was funny, “Oh, yes, yes… but they know my family, so it is okay.” I’ve been asked if I will move to a better hotel… oh, no! I would then miss seeing Loy almost every day! That just isn’t worth it. Who cares if I saw the biggest roach of my life on my wall above my bed last night? Yeah, whatever…  first in nearly 2 months of living here? Not bad.

I’m staying for another 4 months in the Philippines. It still seems odd that I’m here, but so part of my life now… the Philippines. Oh, I’m starting to love this country… I’ve seen some of the worst conditions of its people, but at the same time, I’m also been shown the best of the people… despite hardships, people still smile and laugh and take care of one another, including a foreigner like myself. I’ll never be able to tolerate a whiney American again. To those who have become part of my life here, as District I taught me, mahal ko kayo.

I’m feeling sad this evening… we only have one more weekend in Cabanatuan. At times it seems like we’ve been here for a really long time, other times it feels like we just got here.  I’m not ready to leave… even though I miss several parts of home, I’d like to stay and see this project through. I’m still waiting for an answer…

I’ll miss this place… the people have been so kind. One thing about Filipinos is that they pay attention to the little things… the little things that I think Americans totally miss. They always make sure we have snacks and water. We are always greeted when we come home, our room keys out for us. Or when it is raining, umbrellas just appear over our heads. If I’m standing in the sun like a silly American, I’m ushered into a shady area. Lauren found her clothes flipped over while drying in the sun today… one of the staff just noticed they were dry on one side, so flipped them for her. So these are just little things, but they are nice. Maybe we are treated this way because we are Americans, but I’d like to think this isn’t the reason. But it might be.

Now one thing I didn’t like was yesterday we found a large man sitting with a gun near an open window in the café. We asked Loy what he was doing. Loy explained he was hunting for cats to shoot. Loy hates the cats because they “urinate and leave manure” everywhere. We asked what kind of gun it was, Loy answered, “Just a 22… just very small bullets.” What?!?! We threw a fit. I was saying, “Loy! No, don’t shoot the cats!” Then Norman ran out laughing waving his hands in the air, “Don’t shoot! Don’t shoot!” And all the staff laughed. I’m so telling Winnie when she gets back… Winnie likes the cats and I don’t think she would approve of this behavior. Loy pointed out one of the cats hiding in the fountain foliage and exclaimed, “There’s one! There’s one!” I then told Loy, “If another cat is shot, we are going to Microtel!” This seemed to get a response. I swear, we just never know what to expect. I think we got Loy to agree to not shoot anymore cats at least until we leave, which he told us we would be missed very much. Awww…

Now on Friday night, Lauren and I went out to a bar. Not just the neighborhood joint that everyone laughs at for eating there. We thought it was a restaurant, but it seems it is the place folks go to drink and sing karaoke. But we like the food, so we go there… well Friday night we went to a place where there is live music. A few locals told us about it and the military boys would go there, so we figured, “Why not?” We ordered mixed drinks… I think we got Tang mixed with liquor and red food coloring. Nice. We switched back to San Migs. The first band pointed us out… great, like we don’t stick out enough already. The bands played everything from Carrie Underwood’s “Jesus Take the Wheel” to Usher’s “OMG”. Interesting. And the kids looked so young… babies with beers. No, we aren’t that old… they were really that young. And I taught one of our servers how to pour a beer… yeah, I did. He laughed, so I think it was okay.

And then I took notice of the cute guitar player in the second band. You know this gets bad… not too bad though. When the band took a break and was sitting on their reserved couch, I decided that I needed to walk by and “do something”. Lauren wanted to know what I was going to do… I didn’t know. So I walked by on the way to the bathroom, but he was gone. Dang it. But he was back when I returned… he looked at me, smiled and I… I have no idea what I did. I probably smiled and raised my eyebrows. Okay, side note – eyebrow raising is common here as a way to say “yes”. Both Lauren and I have picked up on it without realizing we had… I tend to add a slight head nod, which I’m not sure where that came from.  So, yeah… that’s probably what I did. And it worked. I looked back once I returned to my seat and he was looking over and smiling. We played this game for a bit… look, smile, look away… Lauren is laughing and asking, “Now what are you going to do?” She had taken to writing notes on napkins to pass to me as I sat right next to her (now how high school do we sound?) and wrote on one, “Buy cute boy a drink, po.” So I did. I asked one of the servers to take him a drink and add it to my tab… wow. That worked well! He came right over and thanked me for it and invited us to join them. So we did…

We met his friends… he took my number and sent the following immediately, “nice meeting you my dear”. That’s cute. He told me I was beautiful… yeah, yeah, yeah… that whole light skin thing. I told him he was really cute, which he taught me to stay in Tagalog, but I can’t remember it now. Then we danced… Lauren said it looked like a high school dance. Heehee. I’m sure it did since he was holding my hands. But there was something really sweet about it… no groping or grinding… just a nice (and did I mention cute?) guy. We returned to the couch and it was time for the next set. He said he was going to dedicate a song to us… but I think we left before that happened. See, once they went back to play, these really annoying guys came over and wouldn’t leave us alone. Lauren kept pushing one away. We tried to go dance, but the guys followed… we went over to the cute guitar player and said bye. We then went home… with the annoying guys following us to a tricycle, I pushed them away this time. That was our big night out… tang drinks and a cute guitar player. I was invited to the next night’s gig via text from the guitar player, but we were too tired to go out a second night. Maybe next weekend… oh, 27. That’s his age, still respectable… I should have lied and said “yes” when he said he thought I was 25. But that would have made it too wrong. Oh, cute, young Filipino guitar player…

we went to validate the accfa rca today… and it PASSED! oh, yeah! after all that we went through, it passed! ate nel hugged me a few times and i swear gladys had tears in her eyes. i’m so proud of them. that first day was hard, really really hard… the first week was tough… it hasn’t been easy. the regional folks didn’t have faith in this district… they didn’t say the words, but the looks said enough. well, yeah… support them, work with them, be positive… so proud of them. to know i’m leaving here with a few people having not only developed skills but the confidence that they can tackle difficult tasks is worth any day or weeks of trudging through some of the toughest areas i’ve personally ever witnessed.

ate nel showed me her latest defaulter list and it was what i hoped to see. she gets it now. and she said she’d never let her defaulters get that bad again. and they are ready to tackle another barangay before we leave the city. it has been slow, this process. we haven’t vaccinated as many defaulters as the previous team, but we are leaving with staff more capable and confident to see this work through… i just hope they continue to receive support because they still need it… they are close, but not quite there. but they have come so so far. and it makes me smile. and i had to laugh when i was told i looked “sexy” today because i wasn’t wearing one of my button-downs… haha! no, i wasn’t in what lauren and i call our “man clothes”. so a pretty good day. accfa. oh, accfa… you started out as hell and now i’ll always treasure the map the captain drew for us last week for it will always serve as inspiration. so proud of district IV.

We had a pretty chill weekend staying home. Well, we did make a day trip to Manila to take care of paperwork and meet with our supervisor. As soon as we arrived in the city we were ready to leave… it is so loud, dirty and crowded. We were packed in like sardines on the LRT on every ride we took on it. For some reason, we both just wanted to chill at home this weekend, so we weren’t up for the city life. And it felt good to sleep in until 8 on Saturday. So nice!

Saturday we spent working on the presentation we have been asked to give to the Region. Only one of us needs to go… that one is me. Since Lauren presented to the staff at our first meeting with them, I figured it was my turn… I so hate talking in front of people. And I will be traveling alone the 3 hours to the Regional office. It will be weird not having Lauren with me… so we worked on the presentation and then ran off to the mall. We did a little shopping… I’m finding retail therapy is a good thing while here. I insisted that Lauren let me buy her a silly tshirt. She bought me one when we started the Twilight Saga that reads, “I really dig vampires”. So I figured she needed the “Fur or Fangs?” tshirt. This is how we make ourselves laugh. And then we went to see a movie – Salt. Pretty good flick. And pretty funny that the lights are flipped on before the credits roll and we see Filipinas pulling their shirts down… nice.

Sunday was pretty similar… work, mall, grocery store, movie, work. I made the mistake of watching Marley & Me on TV tonight. Now why the hell would I think that was a good idea when I’m away from my Ruby? Needless to say, I cried. I miss her, that silly Springer of mine. I miss her waking me up, cuddling with me, snoring right next to my head on the pillow, jumping and talking when I come home, taking her for walks… even all her little annoying habits. I look forward to returning home and taking a roadtrip with her. She’s great on the road… just sleeping next to me or watching the world pass by outside the window.  Yeah, I miss Ruby D.

So tomorrow… presentation time. I’m actually not too stressed over it, but I know me… I’ll feel like vomiting for about 3 hours before it starts. But it was nice chill weekend… I’m sad my time is coming to an end here. I’m not as excited to return home as I thought I might be… not that I don’t miss family, friends and Ruby and my casita… but I’m okay staying here for a while longer. I don’t know what life holds for me when I return… I’m currently waiting on a few responses. My life… I just don’t know what is next. In a way is an interesting way to live, but then again it is a bit stressful. I’d like to return to finish this project… hopefully I hear the answer soon.

Guess what miss Jenn, I just got my electric bill and a letter is attached to it from the office of the city mayor. Your name and Lauren are specially mentioned in it! Congratulations. You are now becoming one of the most popular personality in the city!

Well, the Mayor said he would publicly support the EPI efforts of the city… and so he is. Sweet!

Speaking of Accfa… I don’t know how Lauren and I started this conversation while we waited out the rain in our little hotel room in Lupac. I somehow started talking about adopting a child from the Philippines. I’ve made this comment several times… mostly because I’ve given up on meeting someone to start a family with and that I’ve never really seen myself with a “traditional” family. Some friends have joked that I could be the Angelina Jolie of public health, minus the Brad Pitt, and adopt kids from the countries where I work. Lauren has worried about my mental health in the past few days… from this comment and agreeing with my supervisor to try to stay here for another 3 months to see this project through. She isn’t serious, but does wonder since it is tough here. We talked about this thought of adoption… she asked me if I would want a baby or an older child… I figure 3-4 years old would be a good fit for me. And then I said I wanted a child from Accfa. Now Accfa is hell… it is a tough place. But I’m starting to feel comfortable there and see the good through all the bad. Then I bring up a conflicting feeling about adopting a child of another country… could I offer a better life in terms of opportunity? Yes. But is it fair to take a child from their culture, regardless of the benefits? That is a tough one. Lauren told me about working in Guatemala and at the hotel many Texans were adopting Guatemalan babies, yanking them out of their culture. And from the conversations she overheard and watching the adopting people interact with the staff, they would not be sensitive to culture in which the child was born.  Lauren suggested keeping my home in Albuquerque and having a second home in Makati, which we haven’t visited yet, but it is where all the Americans seem to live in the Philippines. The thought is a little crazy. So, yeah…this was the hour long conversation we had while waiting out the rain. Now I don’t really expect to return home with an Accfa child, but should I ever decide to adopt… I’d consider this. Me with an Accfa child…

August 4, 2010

So it takes days to post posts due to internet and working… but we are going to conduct the RCA for Accfa today… I’m praying they pass. They vaccinated 147 defaulters last month. That is a great number and they have come so far… I think I’ll cry either way. But I’m hoping it is because they pass… Ate Nel was praying when I left them this morning, I’m surprised she didn’t have her rosaries on…

We decide to check out the wharf area a bit more before leaving… it was sad. Chinese tourists running around snapping photos of each other while throwing peace signs. But I did take a nice pic of Lauren taking a pic of them… she’ll thank me for it someday. And we watched some local boys get into a fist fight on the pier… that was kind of interesting. Then we wandered through the kitschy souvenir shops. Lots of little items, most looking imported… women and children who hit up tourists as they step down from their vehicles. That was about all we could take… but we did enjoy a nice view of the islands before leaving… pretty little islands, oh what a shame what has happened to you.

On the tricycle ride to the bus terminal we talk a bit about our reactions to this place… why were others so excited and we weren’t? Have we been here too long? Are we that jaded? Were are our smiling selves? I pondered that maybe we see things through different eyes than the others we encountered… we know what life the people living here experience. While it is cheap to the tourists, it makes us sad. And the fact that some see it as some great destination and we didn’t find it that way… we have a different idea of a holiday. Maybe that is the spoiled American coming out of us. But if we do make it to one of the world-renown beaches of the Philippines, will we still be saddened because we know the other side of this beautiful country? And I do want to take a moment to add that the landscape from Cabanatuan to the Islands is beautiful. Mountains, rice and crop fields… everywhere is a lush green… big, blue skies. It really is beautiful… I found myself smiling out the bus window as we passed through the little towns and all in between. And the people, when not pestering us about tricycles and boats, are kind and welcoming and that creates another type of beauty. But I have many thoughts about the people, which I’m sure I’ll write about some time… maybe not many thoughts, but my impression.

The bus rides back were on rickety buses again… now what do I mean by this? Hard seats, my butt was sore from sitting for hours like this… the air-com is opening the large windows, they are grimy… not the nice buses with comfy, plush seats… and one bus was so packed, including birds. There were three of us on one bench – that is a good description of the seat. But we made it home… when I saw the shops that line the streets in Accfa, I smiled… home. Funny how I now find Accfa comforting…